My standard response? "I'm a reporter. You need to contact X." And then I grumble to my desk-mates about being mistaken for a casting director.
Their emails are flattering in a bizarre way. They don't realize I'm a reporter, of course, and think my blog is something other than it is: a place for movie news and (self-)amusing posts.
Which brings me to a totally uninteresting story. You might be surprised to learn that I did help cast a movie once. It was a 1997 student film, which I wrote, directed and regrettably acted in. (I was a lip-smacker.)
Me and a college buddy, Luke Heikkila (who I haven't seen since), produced the 68-minute existential drama for $250. We shot it on VHS on the scary streets of Morris, Minn., and inside the local co-op. A coffee shop rejected our location request because we had a suicide scene. (We were quite serious young lads.)
Oh, to revisit the days when getting in over our heads was a grand success. We ended up casting a bunch of student actors and a couple gullible professors. A few of us were trying to resurrect the French New Wave.
The film was kind of a Jean-Luc Godard version of "Shortcuts" and was sexily titled "disengaged at 7th and Oregon." I also remember describing it as if "Albert Camus had written 'Six in Paris.'"
Why these pitches weren't enough to bring art cinema back to multiplex, I'll never know.
We had a reasonably good time in testing our mettle. I also remember more than a few artistic disagreements, which probably encouraged my early exit as a filmmaker. (Me just write pretty now.) "disengaged" premiered to about 350 people. I haven't thanked them all for suffering through my post-screening ramblings, so, "Thank you!"
But don't pity me. I'm perfectly capable of pitying myself. I turned out OK. I'm a blogger now. And I've eaten at IN-N-OUT Burger, so you know I'm cool.
And by the way, and if you want to get in a local movie, it's best to contact the following:
"Year One": http://www.myhollywoodconnect.com/ or mail your headshot and contact info to Garden Films Inc., 400 Clyde Fant Memorial Parkway, Shreveport, La., 71101.
"Sordid Lives," "Tekken," second unit on "Righteous Kill": http://www.gloriosocasting.com/
P.S.: My sequel to "disengaged at 7th and Oregon" has been shelved indefinitely due to fear of public humiliation and my complete unwillingness to raise money for its $500 budget.