Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Who you callin’ casting director?

You know the Shreveport movie industry is busy when I'm getting emails asking me, "Can I be in your movie? Here are my headshot and résumé."

My standard response? "I'm a reporter. You need to contact X." And then I grumble to my desk-mates about being mistaken for a casting director.

Their emails are flattering in a bizarre way. They don't realize I'm a reporter, of course, and think my blog is something other than it is: a place for movie news and (self-)amusing posts.

Which brings me to a totally uninteresting story. You might be surprised to learn that I did help cast a movie once. It was a 1997 student film, which I wrote, directed and regrettably acted in. (I was a lip-smacker.)

Me and a college buddy, Luke Heikkila (who I haven't seen since), produced the 68-minute existential drama for $250. We shot it on VHS on the scary streets of Morris, Minn., and inside the local co-op. A coffee shop rejected our location request because we had a suicide scene. (We were quite serious young lads.)

Oh, to revisit the days when getting in over our heads was a grand success. We ended up casting a bunch of student actors and a couple gullible professors. A few of us were trying to resurrect the French New Wave.

The film was kind of a Jean-Luc Godard version of "Shortcuts" and was sexily titled "disengaged at 7th and Oregon." I also remember describing it as if "Albert Camus had written 'Six in Paris.'"

Why these pitches weren't enough to bring art cinema back to multiplex, I'll never know.

We had a reasonably good time in testing our mettle. I also remember more than a few artistic disagreements, which probably encouraged my early exit as a filmmaker. (Me just write pretty now.) "disengaged" premiered to about 350 people. I haven't thanked them all for suffering through my post-screening ramblings, so, "Thank you!"

But don't pity me. I'm perfectly capable of pitying myself. I turned out OK. I'm a blogger now. And I've eaten at IN-N-OUT Burger, so you know I'm cool.

And by the way, and if you want to get in a local movie, it's best to contact the following:

"Year One": http://www.myhollywoodconnect.com/ or mail your headshot and contact info to Garden Films Inc., 400 Clyde Fant Memorial Parkway, Shreveport, La., 71101.

"Comeback": http://www.bamcastingla.com/

"Sordid Lives," "Tekken," second unit on "Righteous Kill": http://www.gloriosocasting.com/

P.S.: My sequel to "disengaged at 7th and Oregon" has been shelved indefinitely due to fear of public humiliation and my complete unwillingness to raise money for its $500 budget.

8 comments:

Chris-Brad said...

So, are there plans for a local premiere of your "film?" Or should I try to find a bootleg copy online??

In all honesty, that's actually pretty cool. Most people will never have the chance to do even that. Oh, and you should start a Hall of Shame for those who can't distinguish between a reporter's blog and a casting director's site. There is something plain sad about that...

TK|LA said...

I get the fact that you are not a casting director -- at least not anymore. But, since you've now eaten at In and Out Burger, can I pitch you my next great screenplay?

Alexandyr Kent said...

chris-brad, a bootleg copy? Local premiere? If you look really hard at your computer screen, you'll see milk pouring out of my nostrils.

I do accept screenplay pitches, tk|la, as long as you can fund, cast, crew-up and distribute the picture. And make me rich.

My contract stipulates an unlimited supply of double-doubles, too, which must always be at arm's reach. Hence, why no one in Hollywood would dare hire me. I'm a walking fire hazard.

Danny said...

Adam, will you please hurry up and leave for the airport. Once you get there, get on your flight and never come back!

Alexandyr Kent said...

Too bad I had to remove adam's 4 spam ads, because danny's comment is hilarious.

Kelli said...

Alex,

Hi! I'm Kelli, and I was the Life section editor for the NSU (Natchitoches) paper this semester.

Sorry for the Mickey-Mouse Club tone of that sentence.

I ended up not being able to make it to your talk, and I was really disappointed because I read your blog and I think you're a great writer.

That said, I am officially requesting that you record some clips of the student film and post them here!

(Also: I've never written a screenplay, but if you give me about 45 minutes, I can throw together a really awful romantic comedy about a group of preteen werewolves trying to find their heartsongs. Preferably starring Hayden Panettierre, filmed in black and white, very Hitchcock.)

Alexandyr Kent said...

45-minute screenplay about werewolves? Greenlight a go go. Principal photog starts in 46 minutes.

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